Number 2166: “Of kissing and killing”

I like early issues of American Comics Group’s Lovelorn when they featured interesting locations. The bulk of traditional love comics stories are more contemporary, along the lines of “I Stole My Sister’s Boyfriends,” or “My Sister Stole My Boyfriends,” but this issue of Lovelorn sets a story, “Sweetheart of a Slave,” in 18th century Barbados. A young woman who manipulates men falls for Barbados’s governor. The governor is ruthless with slaves. Our heroine falls for one of the bond-slaves, who becomes something of a Nat Turner or Spartacus, the leader of a slave rebellion.

Unfortunately, the Grand Comics Database doesn’t list a writer or artist.

Lovelorn later had a title change to Confessions of the Lovelorn, looking more like the common romance titles with weepy-eyed girls on the covers, and lasted until 1959, finally dropped in favor of ACG’s better selling supernatural titles.

Here is another early story with a non-traditional locale, also from Lovelorn. Just click on the thumbnail.

Number 2032: Commie kisses

Here in the U.S. in early 2017 we have been hearing a lot about Russia. It takes me back to my youth, when communists were bogeymen. Russia is no longer officially a communist country, but its current leader came from that system. In 1952, when “Behind the Romantic Curtain” was published in ACG’s Lovelorn #23, the leader was Stalin, if only for his body count, as bad a leader as you can get. The events described in this comic book story are naïve. The narrator, a man (rare in love comics) is a love 'em and leave 'em type, who goes through girls like a rock star. The poor unnamed Russian girl he is in the process of seducing is suddenly arrested because, as the policeman says, “No loyal communist would kiss an American — so she must be a spy!” Our “hero” is not so gallant. He shuts up as the poor girl is hauled off to the Lubyanka Prison and an eventual 25 years in the Gulag. The newspaperman vows not to try out his wiles on anyone else...until that night when he meets his new handler, Tanya.

I won’t belabor the point, except to say good luck to anyone who would have tried to blackmail the Soviets in those days. SPOILER ALERT! He wouldn’t be walking away with the girl and back to America, as he is in this tale. Like the first girl, he and Tanya would find themselves in Siberia with prison sentences of hard labor. That is, if either he or Tanya didn’t each end up with a bullet in the brain.

There are no guesses in the Grand Comics Database as to writer or artist(s).

Read on, comrades!

Number 1915: Everybody’s got a hungry heart

Unlike what Bruce Springsteen sings, maybe not everybody has a hungry heart...but certainly our heroine, Wilma, has that condition. And for Wilma, raised by a hermit-dad in Vermont without neighbors, friends, or lovers, the only thing that will satisfy Wilma’s heart’s appetite is the love of a man.

“Hungry Heart” from Lovelorn #5 (1950) goes from the story of a naïve young woman going through a couple of gold-digging cads while looking for true love, to a story that is reminiscent of Titanic. Luckily for the lovers, with a much happier ending.

Gus Ricca gets credit for the artwork.

Number 1712: Donna’s web of lies

Donna lies, you know. She moved to the big city and her roommate told her lying would get her far, and it has. On the job. Unfortunately it also gets her in trouble with men. Also on the job. Donna is “come-hitherish,” to Gil, to Ralph she is “stand-offish.” But she is never a cold fish, because she goes to both of them before being hooked and landed by her new boss, Frank.

As with most lies and liars, the truth catches up to Donna. So, learning from Donna’s bitter experiences as a prevaricator, I give you my vow. When it comes to love, I stand before you with my right hand raised and my left hand resting on ACG’s Lovelorn #14 (1951), where this tale appears, to swear to you that I will never lie to you, Pappy readers. I love you deeply and am committed to your happiness.

Ha-ha. And if you believe that then I am a better liar than I thought. Here is what I have learned in a lifetime’s experience. Everybody lies. On the job, to the traffic court judge, to the significant other. It is part of being human. The part that gets you in trouble is the bad lie, trying to lie yourself out of trouble with the boss or the law. Lying in love...well, all is fair, as the wise one said.

Art by Paul Cooper.

From years past, here are two more entertaining stories from Lovelorn. Just click on the thumbnails.