Here’s another love story/cautionary tale. You young women listen up. Pappy’s wisdom — learned from decades of reading comic books, with a little personal experience thrown in — is yours for the taking.
1. If you are given a choice between a dull good guy and a flashy bad guy choose the bad guy. After all, when he’s done with you then the chump you dumped, and who has steadfastly loved you since, will still be there to sweep you into his dull but manly arms and you will be happy forever.
2. Do not go driving with a guy who has been drinking. Not much else needs to be said about that.